Wow long awaited update!

I haven't really had the time to sit down and actually update my blog since Febuary! Funny huh? Well we made the move out to California and ended up staying with my mother in law (wonderful woman) and her out of his mind husband (total tool) for a month. It was really nice having David home for that month and just getting to relax and do things as a family. We went to Sea World San Diego which was a lot of fun but Ava wasn't feeling it at the time being only 10 months old. In Febuary I found out we were expecting our second bundle of joy! We were so excited since we were TTC. We moved into our own apartment March 06 it was a nice apartment until our neighbors downstairs moved in! Then it was out right war all the time. Music being played at all hours of the night so loudly I could hear every single word as if I was in the same room with the stereo! They had no housing free on post for us so we had to wait! Dave's new job here in California keeps him in the field a good amount of the time! Two weeks out of every month he is gone basically. Some months aren't as crazy but for the most part he is gone. It is challenging being in a new place with a little one, no friends, no job and being alone! But for my husband I shall try! Anyways finally in September we got the call we were waiting for! A HOUSE! On post! It was the best news ever! Dave wouldn't have to commute 45 minutes to work one way everyday and we'd be closer to the hospital for the birth of our coming son! It was great! And the icing on the cake..it was a four bedroom house!! WOOHOO! We moved in the first week of October! It was stressful trying to get everything unpacked and put away being nine and a half months pregnant! The week after we moved on post my Son made his arrival into the world! Beautiful baby boy! 7lbs 12ozs! And growing REALLY fast! My daughter has yet to warm up to the idea of actually having a brother but she is still young and sees it as something keep mommy's full attention from her! Now Abram is almost a month old and we are still unpacking our house! :) Dave is in the field again! He will be home on Friday and then right after Thanksgiving goes back until the week before Christmas! The things we put up with for love! I will keep the blog updated more I promise when I can pull myself away from a screaming 18 month old and unhook a 11lb meatloaf off my breast!

First time is the charm

Well I havent updated in almost a month. But I have been in middle of moving. We made it to California without a hitch. It has been alright since we got here. We made it to our new base..and it is tragically small. I can't even believe it. The hopes of getting based issued quaters is next to hopeless. So a little update on my trying to get pregnant..after only one month Im not trying anymore..because I AM PREGNANT! I am so excited. I'm due at the end of the October. A fall baby! Well I must go..the food is calling me!

Here I sit again behind my keyboard

Here I am! I haven't posted in about a week. I had my 22 birthday! It was ok I guess..lol My daughter decided she wanted to be a brat for my birthday...oh the joys of mommyhood! My husband gave me the best gift of all! Three hours of ME TIME! So Saturday I went to the movies ALONE! Yes ALONE! It was the first time I have seen a movie from beginning to end since my daughter was born! So I left my daughter alone with my husband and his best friend. I come home..Thankful she is still alive! To find out they manage to let her fall off the bed....lost the diaper wipes..and used her disposable wash cloths for wipes! But they said when I got back. "Well she is sleeping" I reply "are you sure she is sleeping and just didnt pass out from a concusion?" So All in all it was a good day lol! Dads! Amazing how I found the wipes the minute I walked in the door! But my husband's friend said my husband actually gagged when he changed my daughters diaper! That was great!

BD is all I can think about...

Who would have thought I'd be consummed by TTC. Then again my mom always said I never do anything half ass...lol Im waiting for my next AF and for my next fertile days so I can have some sort of hope that the BD is working. Thats all I think about...Doing it! lol I feel like a 15 year old boy. lol. But it will happen when it happens! God I am like a kid at christmas! My mother-in-law is so excited so I can talk to her..about baby names..that kinda of thing. My husband doesnt mind if I talk about it either thank god...but I have this funny feeling he is just tuning me out lol. I go to the DRs to get everything OKAYed Monday! I am excited about that. Why I am excited about going to the doctors Ill never know...then again when I was pregnant with my daughter I always was. When I am 25wks pregnant with #2 Ill have to come back and read this post..and read the excitement..because Ill be thinking what in the hell was I thinking lol

Warming the oven for my second batch...

So we decided to try for our second little wonder. I fear it will take me awhile to get pregnant because I still breastfeed my first daughter. Funny how the first time I was on birth control and got pregnant only the third time we had sex..lol..hopefully it is that easy this time. Im also have worries about my cervix which got messed up pretty bad during labor with my daughter.

Random things keep coming to me about having another baby now..like Im gonna be pregnant during the summer in CALIFORNIA! lol That should be eventful. My daughter isn't even going to be two before I have another baby..granted it doesn't take me long to get pregnant. But I am young so I hope I can deal! I am really excited about trying to get pregnant! I loved it! Heres to hoping!

When does it get better?

My husband feels that I should work..to help pay bills, his bills mind you, but I have an eight month old daughter. So I can work but I have to put her into daycare. I don't trust anyone with my kid...I've heard the horror stories of what happens to poor babies at the hands of sitters. I feel like I do work 24/7 being a mom! It is an endless job..especailly to a baby, much less two..him and her. I clean..I cook ever so often because he likes to cook, and I play mommy to our daughter all day. He comes home from work and feels like he should get a break! I agree to a point. When do I get a break? When do I get to have lunch without someone biting at my heels? When do I get to take a shower with a screaming dictor in the bathroom? NEVER! I feel like he never helps me! Yes he has gotten better now that we are with him all the time..but I feel like he has no sympathy for the work I do! Yes I may not get a paycheck every two weeks but I do WORK! I wish I got paid..I'd be making more than him that is for sure! So we will see how it goes when we get to Cali. I'm not saying I don't ever want to work, what is the point of having a degree if you don't use it? I'm saying I want to raise my daughter for awhile before I start working, plus we want to have another baby! I'm not super mommy! I need some consideration and help!

Whirlwind of thoughts

Here I sit again..lonely and cold :) My husband is in the field again today....in a way I welcome the quiet, in a way I loathe it. I hate being alone with all the thoughts that enter my head. Things that I can't change but wish I could...things that have no real place in my life...so I just sit here and think. Just a glimpse into the random thoughts of mine....Yesterday we got into a fight about something as simple as a bank card..what next? Will it always be this way? Is love really enough to mend all wounds? Is my love enough for him to forget? Will I ever be enough?...Sad really when I think that I always put myself down. I love my husband more than I have ever loved a man in my life, but sometimes I wonder if he loves me with the same unconditional, strength. I hate showing my weaknesses so forgive me for that.

Lonely and Cold

My husband is in the field right now..and usually he is my heating blanket at night, I've never been with a man who's body tempature goes up 15 degrees when he sleeps. Sometimes at night I have to push him off of me because I feel like I am on fire. So now with him gone I am freezing. I slept with a sweatshirt..pants..two pairs of socks..a fleece blanket..and the comforter and still woke up freezing. I'm tempted to put my daughter in bed with me...she is just like her daddy and heats up to a good roasting temp.

The Name Change Dance....oh what joy

Well finally we recieved our Marriage Certifcate...so I went to the DMV to change my name on my drivers license. I drove all the way there and carried a heavy baby all the way into the building..and was told I needed to go to Soical Sercuirty first, then wait 24 hours before I could change my license. I was thinking ok I've been there once to change my Soical Sercurity card (first marriage) this should be easy! NOT!! First they moved the SS office...to the middle of nowhere basically! I don't know the town that well..because I live in the next town over...so I am driving around looking for a freakin road..with a screaming baby in the back...I was ready to cry when I finally arrived at the SS Office. YAY! Second of all..I get into the office and have to get a number R183...no inducation of what number they are on at the moment....next number called R175! HOLY CRAP!! These people take forever at the window too...how much chit chat do you need to change your SS card? Finally my number is called..I get up to the window, they take my marriage certifcate...punch some things into the computer....and she goes ok sign this..and she had put my first middle and new last name..which with some people that would be ok but not with me...I wanted to keep my madien name just make it my middle name..then use my husband last name....so I mentioned it to her and she gets snotty! "Well you should have said something" I was like when???? You didnt even ask..how rude is that! I guess the world has come to think when women get married they lose the ability to think for themselves..GEZZ!

Ok sorry just wanted to gripe about that women..and hope to never have to go back to that place for a really LONG time.

Oh what a Morning!

I admit when I first heard of blogging..I think I probably laughed. I thought why would people honestly want to read other people's personal issues..then I remembered we live in a very nosy world so!!! lol I guess that all plays into the high demand for blogs. Plus it gives me something to do while my husband is at work and my daughter is asleep.

I am a first time mom to a eight month old girl, she is the most amazing thing I've ever done. I was 20 when I got pregnant still in college..and 100% scared for a number of reasons...1 I was still in the middle of a divorce with my first husband...I wasn't in a relationship with the father... I never thought of myself as a mother...and lastly I was still in school and really didn't have my life in order. But things are thrown at you in life that are least expected but can be the greatest oopsy ever!

So I made it through my pregnancy without a hitch...I was 21 plus 4 months....and out comes this bundle of joy....at the time I had no idea how much she was going to change my life. The hardest time was the first 2 months, hands down! I was a single mom and first time mom which adds to the hardship! Her father was great after she was born..he took to her like a fish to water. They look so much alike, the minute I saw him hold her I fell in love. Plus I finished college three weeks after she was born!

Our realtionship wasn't what you would call story book...unless you were reading a story book by Jerry Springer...then maybe. We had been together eight months when our daughter was born.. and we fought all the time...because we are both stubborn and both right all the time. Right after our daughter turned 3 months..lots of issues started..and we ended up not being able to see each other for about four months.(no he wasnt in jail nor was I lol)...which was the best thing that could have happened to us...sounds weird yes but it is true! In that four months we realized just how much we meant to each other...

So we finally got married December 19 2005! That is right I've only been married two weeks for the second time...this time I feel it is right! 100%! I couldn't ask for a better husband..friend.. and father for our daughter.

My husband is eight years my senior, an Army Tanker..ex marine. We are so much alike and so different at the same time lol...all in all we are a bunch of goof balls. I'm thankful I finally found him...FINALLY! We got orders for Cailfornia and leave in the middle of next month. I am excited to start a new adventure with my family...and get the hell out of this crappy ass place! So buckle your seat belts and enjoy reading the life of a First time mommy and a second time wife.